is kindness and respect the same

The need for quality connections is absolutely critical for both mental and physical health. How does kindness cause connection? We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. If the biology of kindness and connection is so powerful, why are we experiencing so many of these distressing events? Hope is licensed as a LCSW in Colorado, Texas, and Virginia. Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. Do you? And if we are connected to each other and to other living beings, we take care of the environment and move rapidly to address climate change. Not good. There is a kind of respect that is owed to others simply because of their station in life, but it's still not the same as kindness. It would be wonderful if both kindness and compassion are present in any challenging situation, but from a stance of social connection, kindness is the word. Recent events have demanded a change, however. Hope is a Radically Open DBT Supervisor and 1-day trainer for Radically Open LTD organization. advice, diagnosis or treatment. It can become stronger by practicing kindness. When we are kind, we are able to admit our wrong doing and reconnect with others. We act hastily and in a less than great emotional state. Kindness. Be proud of who you are and not ashamed of how someone else sees you. And in extreme cases, violence. Embracing kindness and compassion happens once we realize that it is essential to our state of being and longevity. Needing one another may be an evolutionary adaptation to enhance survival. Do we just not feel worthy enough to wait for kindness and respect? Kindness has a very concrete space in the brain. Respect is earned. And as Peter was coming in, Cornelius met him, and fell down at his feet, and worshipped him. Once we are enlightened that we are connected to one another in many ways—kindness flows readily. So when we give to someone else, we honor that inborn drive to promote group survival. Why is being nice important? This website uses cookies to improve your experience. As the socio-biologic need for kindness and connection is fulfilled, health, happiness, meaning, collaboration, and peace readily flow from there. Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him. It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. For a list of kindness acts you can practice, check out RO worksheet 17.B (Lynch, p 373) in the RO DBT skills manual. Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Examine men’s ruling principles, even those of the wise, what kind of things they avoid, and what kind they pursue. It can become stronger by treating others with respect. But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared. And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.…. Perfectionism, anxiety, rigidity, detailed focus, risk aversion and loneliness are some of the areas that overcontrolled people struggle to navigate. Any of them? Why is it that most of the people I talk to and work with have been entangled in codependent and toxic relationship dynamics? Or do you regret most of them? Love this quote, very easily passed on to others without too much explanation needed:). Think about that for a moment. helpful non helpful. Not good. Every soul needs identity, community, and purpose. How well did you handle it? On an obvious level, when someone gives of themselves to another person (even a smile or friendly hello), they are saying to that person “I see you—you are important and need to be recognized and/or supported.” Recognizing another person in a positive way makes the receiver feel valued, establishing a connection. Well done. It can become stronger by practicing kindness. From: Twitter, @kimgarst Do you always respond with kindness and respect, even to jerks? His recommendation? The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar. In contrast to the kindness-connection loop, this is a vicious and destructive cycle. A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude. [1] But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. When things go wrong at work, do you yell at your co-workers, make snide comments or otherwise act in an unkind or disrespectful manner? This process is automatic. wanted Other to treat her witli Lindness, love and so decided to treat way to show how to do it. But part of being human is to strive to do better. Do you divide people into those who are worthy and those who are not? If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be. Everything flows from that. In her writing Hope uses humor and real life stories to help overcontrolled individuals make the changes that will bring happiness to their lives. Well said, Megyn. How did you interact with others? But because that is who we are, and we hold ourselves to a high standard. The two main ones being respect and kindness. When there is an issue and your kindness is being tested, deal with it in a way that is firm but courteous. In case you can’t stay, here’s the “secret sauce” of this blog: kindness works its magic because it creates or strengthens connections between living beings. Seriously, it was the simplest and yet most profound a-ha moment for me. Kindness is not: to always be nice. Why is it that somewhere between kindergarten and adolescence we forget that the nice kids are the ones we want to play with? A Simple Trick That Can Transform All of Your Relationships, A New Way to Understand Your Partner’s Rage, No Time for Self-Care? When we show our respect for other living things, they rapaho. Consider that for a moment. Not just a few people, not just most people, everyone. It also promotes us contributing to the well-being of others, without expecting anything in return. Once we are enlightened that we are connected to one another in many ways—kindness flows readily. Kindness is bestowed upon others without them having to earn it. The ideal, in my thinking, is to pair respect and kindness in our treatment of others, but with respect always being the senior partner, so to speak, or the priority, overall. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. That kind of attitude is not helpful in reducing the hatred and anger in the world. Copyright © 2015 - 2020 MEGYN BLANCHARD | Proudly powered by WordPress. The only question is how strong is the ‘nice’ part of us? Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Being nice is that important, even if we don’t always remember. And because nature has blessed the giver with internal reward mechanisms, the behavior can be reinforced as the giver’s biologic destiny has been momentarily fulfilled. Don’t stop at good intentions; plant the seed of kindness in every one of your actions. 2019 has just begun. If everyone is waiting for someone else to be kind before they are kind in return, that’s going to be a pretty messed up world, wouldn’t it? ... we treat each other with respect and act with integrity. All of them? The Difference Between Kindness and Compassion, 7 Steps to Make It in a Relationship with a Paranoid Partner. It can be directed toward another person or group, or it can be directed inward (self-compassion). We all have rough days, and on occasion, we forget. Kindness should be shown to all people without differentiating them on any basis. Every soul, he says, needs identity, community and purpose. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Noun ()A type, race or category; a group of entities that have common characteristics such that they may be grouped together. Christian Picciolini, the former neo-Nazi who helps white supremacists find their way back to mainstream society, bases his approach on that many of the current neo-Nazis simply want compassion and a way to belong. That we need one another may be an evolutionary adaptation to enhance survival. Do we just not know what our standards of kindness and respect are? That’s a downward spiral. Compassion is oriented toward healing, alleviating suffering and acknowledging that all humans suffer. The service requires full JavaScript support in order to view this website. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Given how widespread and strong the drive for connection is, the only logical conclusion is that the need to meaningfully connect with other living beings is baked into our biology. The whole is more than the sum of its parts. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

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